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The Chronicles Of Mummy Liew
. . . . .When silliness overthrows routine. . . . .


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The familar feeling returned.

The feeling of despair, sadness and impending doom.

It's been a while since I felt this way. But it slowly crept into my soul, found a hole, and buried itself into me.

It's now eating away my core.

I asked myself: Is it wrong to insist on something which you think you are correct?

Is it still wrong if you hurt other people in the process?

Hurt the ones you claimed you loved.

But if you dun hurt them, you will feel hurt instead. Indirectly, the ones you loved will be hurting you instead.

I hate it when people look at me with condemning eyes, like whatever you did is only for your own gain and no one else's.

"you only think of yourself."

"People is suffering because of what you did."

But what i only did was to protect. If I had done nothing, how can i answer to myself in the end?

If I had said nothing, did nothing, I merely followed instructions and kept quiet, would things be in a better position?

But i cannot play dumb, I simply can't.

I longed to run away, to find a new lease of life.... to start over... when i said I regretted everything I had done, I mean it.

But i cannot run like that. It is not wise. I have to plot my way out slowly. I must be independent enough before I make my move.

To avoid more conflicts, what i can only do now is detach myself from my miserable life. I will just carry on with my physical body.

Work.. sleep... eat... talk... everything.

My soul would be gone.

One day I will walk out of this rut. Be it takes 5 years, 10 years or more.

Brain freezed @
1:51 PM